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10/17/2010: "community"

Ive decided that I need a community. Yes I have my sister and my best friend back in the US but I need more. I need someone to talk with who doesnt know me for years, who doesnt let their problems color helping me with mine. Dont get me wrong, I enjoy being there for my friends but I need more perspective.

I'm struggling so much with being peaceful. I want to enjoy living here. But its so easy to be overwhelmed by the magnitude of everything. Learning the language. Clearing the rooms, making the space ours. I have no idea how to get it all accomplished. And every other little thing I want to do.

I want to write, cook and create. Make a living from blogging. Make clothes for Isabella. Make her a moose doll, a fairy. Her own little pixie hollow and I feel like I have no idea how to even accomplish that and asking Nico for help just doesnt work. I want felt, oh we will check the fabric store, or maybe my dad knows. I get so frustrated by feeling so incompetent, when all I want is to get some simple craft supplies and I cant do it!

I dont know what to do. I need community, interaction. maybe im just going stir crazy since i have no one else here to talk to except Isabella. Baby babble can only stimulate for so long, though I do love talking with her.